Fostering: It takes a special person?

     So we have our first foster child....It has been four weeks.

     Since we have been going through this process...many people say to us, "Wow! I could never do that." "You are very special to be able to do that." "You must have a special heart!" It always makes me very uncomfortable.

     I have read books and blogs on this subject that talk about the authors being angry when they heard that. I just assumed that was what I must be feeling too. So the other day when this conversation came up and I was telling the person how I feel angry when others say that to me, I was feeling empty and hollow as I said it. Something didn't feel right. I was repeating others feelings, not my own.  I left that conversation so troubled with what I was truly feeling.
   
     Over the last week as I have thought about it over and over and over again, I have realized I am not angry. I am- embarrassed. I feel awkward and totally unprepared to respond.

    I am not special. I do not have a "special" heart. I have a deeply dark selfish sinful heart.....BUT I also have Jesus speaking to me saying that we, as His church, need to take care of those who can not take care of themselves. We need to give up ourselves and our own self-interests and lay our lives down for those who can't take care of themselves.
 
     If we follow Jesus, He has a calling for each of us.  My family's calling at this point is to give a loving, caring home to a child who needs it. Is it easy? NO WAY! Is it always fun? NO WAY! But it is what Jesus has called us to do at this time and we will follow!